Banana Girls Can't Go To The University!

Hey everyone!

You know, in my previous post I said this is my last year of high school. That means heeeey time to find a university! And then you are like ahnnn… so what? Everybody does that, silly.

Yeah, I know. But I want to share with you my disappointment with one pretty, cutie and famous university. Believe me, I just do something like this when the thing really, seriously irritated me. And it did.

There was Sweet Gossip Caah, Milla in real life, sending emails to universities, because she obviously wanted to study in one (are you serious? Lol!). One of them, Oxford - for those who don’t know, one of the best universities in the whole world - answered me in a not very cool way. I mean, they were politely polite with me, but what they said was like WTF! I really didn’t believe it when I read.

PS: You guys know that I’m from Brazil, right? Oh, by the way, no I don’t speak Spanish and I’m not sure my butt is really big. And I wear normal bikini, not the ‘brazilian’ one because I find that almost obscene (lol).

They said something like this: well, Brazilian girl… You know that England has amazing students, and our schools are way better than the shit you have in Brazil. That means no matter how intelligent you are or can be, English kids are and will always be better than you, honey. And by the way, no, we don’t want you shit here in our oh-so-famous university. Only the best can be here, and it doesn’t mean you.

Can you guys imagine how I felt? I mean, if you send an email to an university you are expecting that at least they won’t be such motherfuckers racists. Sorry for the bad word :D

I really, really am disappointed with them. You English people can say what you want from Brazil, but at least here we ain’t motherfuckers racists. Oh, and by the way, did you guys know that Brazil will be one of the best countries in the future? We’re on the way because we have an amazing president and you have shit, so you get shit.

I believe that not every English amazing kid does what I did. I learned how to write and read books (with books I mean books, not fairytales) before I was two years old. This means FUCK YOU. Again, sorry for the bad words, but you deserve them.

I wonder why they didn’t ask me if my pet is a monkey called Bananah and if I live naked on a tree. After all, that’s what we Brazilian girls do, right? - for those who didn’t realize, I’m being ironic.

On the other hand… I received three other emails (from the 18 universities that I emailed - the others didn’t even answer… probably because Brazil is shit) that were really cute. Cornell University and Portland State University were really kind to me. They aren’t racists. The other one really made me happy. Really happy. It was Harvard. You know, right? Harvard is Harvard and we can’t compare. Specially what they told me… Something like this: you’re welcome to be here as long as you’re nerd. We don’t care if you’re American, Brazilian, Italian, Spanish, Japanese, whatever. Plus, our scholarships, if you need one, are need-based and it doesn’t matter if you’re from a country or another, if you’re gay or straight, if you’re pink or blue. As long as you’re nerd, you’re welcome.

That’s what every university should do. I just imagine what they teach the students at Oxford… Let’s go to war! Kill Brazilians, they’re stupid! No one compares, we’re the best!

I’m really disappointed.

Xoxo, Gossip Bananah Caah :* (that’s my Brazilian name, so totally Banana-like…)